Reflection
by his querida
Summary: Spuffy, little bit AU. When Buffy and Spike meet, she isn't the slayer... yet. She does have other abilities though, abilities that catch Spike's attention. Please R & R. Rated T for safety
1. Alternative meeting

Alternative meeting

**A/N Hi, I'm Layla. This is my first story for this fandom but if you have read the Janet Evanovich series (and if you haven't, do so : ) ) then you might want to read my other story **_**Run Away**_** which is currently in progress or **_**Beat**_** which is almost finished.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Joss' character just borrowing the characters **

_Summary: Spuffy Somewhat AU...What if when Buffy and Spike met, she wasn't the slayer…yet; but he was a vamp... she does have other abilities on her side though; abilities that catch Spike's attention at their meeting. Please R & R. Rated T for safety and for future chapters._

BPOV

Images are all that scattered through my mind; infiltrated occasionally by a creaking board, a scurrying rat, a whispered, reverent word… but I wasn't terrified.

No but I was scared. So scared that I could barely focus on anything but the harsh, wretched gasps that tore out of my body as I continued moving forward as my body begged me to stop; to give in. What attention wasn't focused on moving one grimy foot in front of the other was focused on what was driving me forward.

I could hear him slowing though; could feel him loose his temporary thrill of the chase; of the domination. At this point, my body stopped listening to my mind; I slowed to a walk; a fast walk; it was then that I realized my mistake.

My sole concentration on the person behind me had left me oblivious to everything else. It wasn't until then I sensed another presence.

SPOV

As soon as I smelt her I knew I wanted her. Wanted all of her. Her fresh blood tantalised me as it wafted through the air. I could almost see the fumes it was making. I moved quickly towards the source, unwilling to lose her scent and definitely unwilling to share.

As I got closer, I could hear her heartbeat; harshly thumping to its own personal beat.

As soon as I turned the corner, the girl's eyes whipped to meet mine, seemingly predicting my presence.

I took that very brief moment to assess her. She wasn't tall; barely 5 foot 4, though very slim. She has blonde mid-length hair, darkened now by sweat and bright hazel eyes that shone through with unhidden fear. In short, she was beautiful. Combined with the freely flowing blood from her forehead, it was the most intoxicating sight I had seen in a long time. Just _one_ drink and he knew…

Before I could even get out a word, make one off-balancing quip, her voice rang out. Her gasp and then a sharp 'No!' of protest cut through the stony silence of the alley, making the following silence seem even more tense, as thick as the walls surrounding us.

I tried to make my face as friendly as possible as I took a step towards her, into the light where she could see me clearly. 'What is it pet?'

BPOV

I was rooted to the spot, barely hearing his words. I knew exactly what he wanted from me and exactly how capable he was at getting it. I stumbled back at step to match the one he took forward.

I was scared before, but now I found out how far away from terrified I really was as I felt the panic pulse through my body. Knowing it sounded cliché and was useless anyway but unable to think of anything else at the time, I yelled, 'stay back.' He took a step forward anyway, a smirk evident on his face. 'Just thought you needed some help pet.'

'Just thought you needed some help pet,' I said endeavouring to sound innocent. I didn't usually like to play, but in this case, the girl was just appetizing enough to make it worth the effort.

I could think of _many_ things I would love to do to that body, only one of which was drinking from her. I allowed my mind to momentarily wonder as I cast my gaze over her body yet again. After a second quick appraisal, I smirked back up at her. 'But luv, I heard you running. You seemed frightened. Figured you'd appreciate a helping hand. And how can I help if I go away?' As I spoke, I took a small, hopefully unnoticed step forward. It was really more fun when they didn't realize how close I was until it didn't matter any more.

I heard a small, almost contained whimper escape her lips, either at my words or the small step closer I was to her now. 'You're worse than the one that was following me.'

Backing up a step so she was closer to the wall than me, she seemed to almost be murmuring to herself now, lost in a haze of panic that I couldn't quite understand. Sure, she'd just run away from some guy who wanted to mug her, but she couldn't know what my personal agenda was.

'You want to kill me.' She really was the pessimist. Clearly no confidence in people if that was the conclusion she jumped to. Not that she was wrong, but I was _trying _to act nice before I got bored and just fed.

'You want to feed on me.' She continued murmuring, backing up another step, her small frame seeming even smaller against the black wall that she was inches from banging into.

Hang on. Unless she had a very strange view on how people killed other people, she knew more about my world than I could tell from first glance at the small slip of a girl.

She seemed to shrink even further into the blackness that was at her back. Her eyes locked on mine now and I was a little unnerved by the near-acceptance buried underneath her fear. I hadn't even made a move towards her.

'I don't want to die,' she whispered, barely audible in the silent alley. Definitely human; though I was somewhat intrigued by her knowledge of my world. Believing in vampires was, in my experience, not commonplace among humans.

But my intrigue was deeply outweighed by my desire to sink my fangs into the beautiful girl's pale neck. As my blood lust drew my playing to a quick close, all that I now thought of was which side to drink from.

'God and even now all he wants is to decide is which side of my neck to brutally rip out.' She seemed to be shakily talking to just herself now but her words caught my attention. They seemed to be reflecting exactly what had been on my mind.

_a/n so what do you think? Like it so far? _


	2. Ulterior Motive

Ulterior Motives

Disclaimer: Still don't own Joss Whedon's characters….. too bad cuz then Spike would have been with Buffy since _School Hard_ :P

BPOV

I saw him cock his head to the side, his sly movements forward ceasing all together. I couldn't really understand his sudden contemplation and I didn't really want to know. All I needed at that moment was to get away from him. I knew he wouldn't even hesitate to bury his fangs deep into my neck.

And he wouldn't have to try very hard to get it. He was no fledging and I was trapped in this alleyway with him. I felt hopelessness seep through me. I didn't have a prayer fighting him off and trying to run past him was not an option in an alley so narrow. I was out of options and long ago out of friends.

I suddenly realized that he was moving towards me again. This time, though, it was slightly less predatory than before. But that was of little comfort when I recognized the calculating edge to his features. My attention again focused on him, I flinched a second before he leapt, pinning me with his body to the wall I had tried to disappear into moments ago.

I attempted to push at him, do anything to get him off me but he quickly caught my wrists and pushed them into the wall. Not too hard, I noted, but then he knew he didn't have to.

His eyes were wide as they stared into my face. His face broke into a grin and triumph oozed from his every pore. "My my kitten, what have we here."

His triumph and realization shouted into my mind and I scrunched my nose up in distaste. His grin widened as if I had confirmed it. However, his eyes got thoughtful after a moment and I felt my eyes widen as he stepped even closer to me.

I felt panic go through me stronger than ever as his thoughts penetrated my mind. It was softer then before though, whispering into my mind. "Can you hear me love? For your sake I hope you can. Before we go any further, my name's Spike. If you can't hear me love, I'm going to drain you dry, but don't worry it'll be quick. If you can though, pet, I'll give you a chance to live. Choose."

I couldn't stop the fear shining again through my eyes so I lowered them, unwilling to give the bastard, _Spike_, the satisfaction of knowing that his probing words scared me. It was always different hearing the words in someone's head and having them said to you. I could feel the truth or deception behind every word. And in this case there was no need for deceit.

His mind rumbled with dissatisfaction as threatening as if he had grabbed me. In a jumble, his thoughts hammered against me, unordered and unorganized about what he was thinking of saying next. All in flashes barely audible even to my experienced ears. Before he could even decide what to say next, the collaborative threat convinced me that nothing good would come from ignoring him.

Looking back into his eyes, I knew that agreeing to make some sort of deal with him would only end very badly for me. However, my only other option was to choose death. I couldn't make myself forfeit my life even on the likelihood that I would be eventually begging for the quick death he offered now.

I jumped when I felt the vampire's cool lips on my neck. Before I could even utter a syllable I felt his blunt teeth nip at my exposed jugular. The right. He liked the right. In an innately defensive action I leaned in that direction to minimize his access.

To my surprise, he didn't grow angry but instead smirked at the action and immediately sealed his lips over my pulsing, overly exposed artery. I froze and I could have sworn it was going to end then. Foolishly, I wasn't listening to his thoughts in this haze of panic. I didn't hear anything except the roaring in my ears until he spoke out loud. "Decide."

With his lips not moving from their spot as he spoke, I knew that I wouldn't live seconds if I refused him. Swallowing, feeling his lips move as I did, I nodded before speaking hoarsely, "what do you want Spike".

The man looked so bloody pleased with himself as he pulled away slightly, teamed with his self-praising thoughts, that I couldn't help myself from snapping. "God, you would think you won the damn lottery instead of just me."

I expected his anger to flare in those dancing blue eyes at the comment, was sorta hoping for it just to see that I had got to him; to have a small, if hollow victory. He just smiled again. But I could feel the annoyance hidden under the surface, knew that my comment didn't leave him completely unfazed. I was ruining his accomplishment with my snittyness. Well point for me then.

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to hide the fact that I had aggravated him. "You realize I can _hear_ you. Smiling pleasantly doesn't exactly fool anyone who can really read into it." It was my turn to smirk now. I wasn't as scared as I was just a second ago. Still scared shitless, but in least now I knew he wanted something from me.

The smile dropped from his eyes, making him look more dangerous than ever, and an unwanted gleam appeared in his eyes. He grabbed my arm roughly and I did my best not to cry out at the unexpected violence. He dragged me away from the wall of the alley.

Looking down at me icily, he asked, "Do not attract any attention love. If I even think you're gonna make a run for it I'll conk you on the head and lug you away myself." Grinning unpleasantly again he added, "But I might not be gentle."

Knowing that if I made any sort of trouble I'd wake up with at the least a whole load of bruises, I nodded, trying to compose some sort of pretence of calm. It was times like these that I was grateful no-one could eaves drop into my mind. Despite my promise, I desperately tried to think of any way that I could get away from him before he had the time to thump me on the head and ruin my shot at freedom.

Suddenly I heard his exasperated sigh and I realized I had allowed myself to drift off while thinking of my escape attempt. And he knew it. A moment before he planned to knock me unconscious anyway, I heard his intention, my eyes widening. It was times like this I hated my gift. Knowing things and having no chance to stop it.

Trying to hold back the sorrow at that thought, I raised my hands defensively and said softly, "Please don't. I won't do anything." I hated being hit. I could feel the vampire's eyes boring through me but I didn't look up. His uncertain thoughts were enough let me know his internal debate. It would cause unwanted attention if I was unconscious but he didn't want to risk me getting away.

SPOV

The small blonde in front of me raised her hands as if to defend herself from an attack. Which, of course, she was, I realized stupidly. She knew I couldn't be bothered trying to keep her in check on the way to the crypt.

But I could almost _see_ the resolve drain out of her. I thought that she wouldn't run now but I wasn't the mindreader here; I wasn't sure. If I did knock her out, I might get trouble from some 'concerned citizens'. But if I didn't I would have _more_ trouble trying to stop her if she ran for it. Not that she'd make it.

Her reaction to the thought of being knocked out also gave me pause. Something had flashed on her face at the thought of it. I felt a quick flash of pity for the delicate woman. Quickly, I angrily pushed the unwanted emotion aside. No need for her to know that. I didn't even really feel it for the girl.

With another quick look at her, where she was intently studying the floor, I grabbed her arm again without another thought. Dragging her out of the alley into the dark night, I asked gruffly, "What's your name anyway, pet?"

After a quick, surprised pause, she replied softly, "Buffy."


	3. Options

Disclaimer: Still don't own Joss Whedon's characters…..

a/n Hey guys, I'm back… I have to apologize for the massive delay… I never wanted to be that annoying writer that stopped writing halfway through the story… so I'm giving it another shot… here's the next chapter… enjoy!

Previously:

'_You want to drain me.' She continued murmuring, backing up another step, her small frame seeming even smaller against the black wall that she was inches from banging into._

_Unless she had a very strange view on how people killed other people, she knew more about my world than I could tell from first glance at the small slip of a girl._

_I felt panic go through me stronger than ever as his thoughts penetrated my mind. It was softer then before though, whispering into my mind. "Can you hear me love? For your sake I hope you can. Before we go any further, my name's Spike. If you can't hear me love, I'm going to drain you dry, but don't worry it'll be quick. If you can though, pet, I'll give you a chance to live. Choose."_

_With his lips not moving from their spot, I knew that I wouldn't live seconds if I refused him. Swallowing, feeling his lips move as I did, I nodded before speaking hoarsely, "what do you want"._

_Dragging her out of the alley into the dark night, I asked gruffly, "What's your name anyway, pet?"_

_After a quick, surprised pause, she replied softly, "Buffy."_

BPOV

I felt his fingers press harshly into the flesh above my elbow; hard enough to produce bruises to decorate my skin. I felt like I'd be pushing my luck if I spoke now, when he'd been on the brink of knocking me unconscious minutes before, but in my defence, fear makes my head go all jumbly.

'You never told me what in the world you want.' It was meant to come out a heated, maybe a little cold but instead it came out as a whisper and even _I _could hear the fear in my voice. I mentally cursed myself as I felt the smug edge to his thoughts.

'Maybe, pet, that's because I haven't decided yet.' His words were light enough, but I could feel the dark edge to his thoughts. I felt panic start to set in again but knew better than to delve any further. I didn't need to know all the sick thoughts going through his head. Despite everything, I wasn't tough enough.

Very few people looked at us. Not that I was trying to draw any attention. I didn't want to be out cold and I knew no-one could help anyway- I was only going to get them killed. Still, I'm pretty sure I _looked _scared shitless and I was being hauled away from a pretty scary looking guy.

Pretty soon, much sooner than I would have liked, he was hauling us into a creepy looking crypt in a cemetery. If I wasn't so scared, I would have rolled my eyes at the cliché of it all. He'd been relatively gentle the whole trip, in least physically. Mentally, I'd tried my best to block out the bombardment of images of my death that had flooded my skull. I knew that was his leash to stop me from running while people milled around us. He kept me too terrified to try.

Shoving me ahead, through the open crypt door and deeper into the room, I stumbled before catching myself to glare at him. I might be his prisoner, for now, but he was just doing that to show me 'who's the boss'. As if it wasn't obvious enough.

However, I felt my glare waver as he stalked towards me. Involuntarily, I took a step back for each one he took forward. Realistically, I knew that I couldn't run away from him. I knew he was provoking me and if he had wanted to kill me, he would have already. But the logic area of my brain was shutting down as panic took over. All I could see and feel was my death playing in front of my eyes as I looked into his.

When I felt the hard, cold sense of rock hit my back, I felt the panic take me over completely. It was so hard to try to be brave when I could see every repugnant idea that crossed his mind. Throwing in all my courage, I continued to meet his gaze as he moved so close to me that the hard edges of his body were pressing me into the wall.

It became harder when he didn't look away, didn't say anything. He was surprising adept at keeping me out, mostly. He just kept flooding my mind with sights of death and I couldn't make myself probe further. After a few agonising moments, his face changed in front of my eyes. I'd seen it before, but that didn't stop the tactic from shocking me a little. I wasn't used to being blindsided.

However, from the annoyance on his face, which echoed in his mind, I'd say I didn't react as he hoped. Feeling a little braver after that, I didn't back down. I was feeling the panic start to recede. All I had to do was wait for a chance. My one advantage is that he underestimated me. I'd been through this before, albeit not with a vampire, I'd get through it again.

Despite my best efforts, I felt myself flinch when he ran the back of his hand across my racing pulse in my neck. Opening my mind a little to his, pushing my way past his barriers, I found what he was thinking. By reflex, my head cracked painfully against the crypt wall as I caught his strand of thought.

His lips curled up into a slight smile. 'That's right pet. Maybe I'll do it now.' Before I could even think further into what he said, I started shaking my head. 'no, no, no, no.' In his mind, I could see him biting into my neck, draining me of almost every drop before cutting his chest and pressing me against the blood trickling down his chest.

Despite the horror in my mind, I could feel something other than fear tingling through my body.

'No,' I whispered again, both to my thoughts and his. 'I don't want to be like you. It won't work that way anyway,' I lied quickly. There was no way in hell I was going to let him turn me if I could help it. His expression turned from amused to thoughtful. 'Is that so pet. I wonder why that is.' His voice was heavy with scepticism. I felt my heart thud faster, but I refused to give him every reason to turn me.

He stared at me for a few seconds longer before lowering his gaze to my pulsing neck. I swallowed and I felt my body start to tremble lightly despite my stern commands to it to do nothing of the sort.

I could have sworn he was going to bite me. It didn't help my case that he was hungry. Luckily, my words had planted a tiny seed of doubt in his mind. And he wasn't willing to risk losing my gift by turning me. Hearing that thought reverberate through his mind over his thoughts of killing I couldn't help but shudder in relief, lowering my head finally. My adrenaline rush had left me, leaving me tired and shaking.

Spike sighed when he noticed my obvious relief. 'You know, pet, this whole thing makes it both a lot easier and a lot harder to scare you.' I couldn't help but chuckle darkly at that. 'I think we both know you're doing a fine job.' My voice came through almost normally, though a little breathily and I could have cheered at the small success.

His lips curled slightly again. 'Alright pet, here's your test. Fail, and I'll turn you because you obviously aren't powerful enough human anyway. Pass, and I won't kill you as long as you agree to work for me. Got it pet?' I nodded, strangely for once not scared. I knew the extent of my abilities, cursed it often enough. I knew I could do this.

He tilted his head to the side when he couldn't smell my fear and backed off a step to give me some room. 'I want you to scan the graveyard, love, and tell me how many creepy critters of the night there are.'

That was a tall order, because it meant I had to search for every mind and see if they were not human. As much as it went against every instinct, I closed my eyes as I searched for that life. Carefully, I went through every inch of the graveyard, mentally tallying at the same time. Assured that I had counted every being in the graveyard, I opened my eyes to look at Spike. His bright blue eyes were staring down at me. Taking a deep breath, I sealed my deal with evil. '13 'creepy critters', 2 humans and,' I paused for a second, unsure of how to describe the mind of the last being. 'She felt human, but there was something a little off. Her mind was full of the death of vampires and demons and she was practically oozing power.'

Spike's eyes lit up as I described the last individual. Flashing a big smile, he hauled me back towards to door. 'Where is she, love.' I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to cause the girl's death. Because there was no doubt in Spike's mind that she would die. But he wasn't planning on killing her tonight. Letting out a deep breath, I pointed and said 'that way.' Before I even finished talking, he was pulling me in that direction.

As we got closer to the girl, Spike's nose caught her scent and he suddenly stopped moving and turned to me. 'The girl you sense now will kill you for helping me. Never, ever go near her. Got that pet?' I felt a shiver go through me as I felt his belief in the words he uttered.

It seemed that no matter where I turned now, someone would kill me for existing. Just when I thought I had escaped that. At least with Spike I had a shot at life.

His grip tightened again as he started tugging me back in the direction we came from until we got to the crypt. I was going to have a bad bruise by tomorrow morning.

I knew it couldn't be long until dawn now. My body was heavy with lethargy. Too much had happened and I yearned to just sleep. When he finally let go of my arm, my hand automatically went up to rub the abused limb.

When I touched Spike's mind, I felt his hunger beating at me and I knew my night wasn't over yet. With that realization, I just closed my eyes, not caring. If he drank from me, I'd probably just sleep deeper anyway. I felt him move closer to me and I opened my eyes. Despite everything, I couldn't give up yet.

Hoping that it would work, I quickly darted my eyes over his shoulder, deeper inside the crypt, widening them as if I saw something. It wasn't hard to fake fear; I had enough welling up inside me. Instinctually, Spike turned to face whatever demon was hiding in the shadows of the crypt. As soon as he turned, I bolted for the crypt door. I'd almost made it to the door when I felt him grab me and pull me back towards him.

I felt his anger rippling through his thoughts and saw him raise his hand, ready to strike. I couldn't stop myself from freezing when I saw it, couldn't stop staring. I felt a tear travel down my cheek and I couldn't even make myself wipe it away.

To my surprise he lowered his fist slowly. He used it to gently tilt my neck to the side. I let my gaze flick back over to his eyes. Hunger was again the primary emotion in his mind, his anger fading away. Slowly he lowered his head, not breaking eye contact until his lips were nearly touching my neck. As his lips sealed over my neck, I heard him in my mind whispering, 'it's not gonna hurt love.'

I felt him suck on my pulse, bringing the blood to the surface. My emotions were churning inside of me until I wasn't sure what I was feeling any more. But for the second time I couldn't ignore that it wasn't only fear. Suddenly, I was brought back to what was happening by the sharp sting on my neck. I felt my eyes water but to my surprise it didn't hurt when he started drinking. With each pull of blood, I felt lighter. Eventually I felt my body sag against him just as he pulled out of my neck.

I felt my legs waver under me and my eyes flutter. Before I knew what was happening, Spike was carrying me down a ladder with one hand. We got to the bottom of the ladder and Spike turned us around to see the room.

As soon as I saw the bed, I freaked out. In my exhausted state, I totally ignored Spike's mind and immediately came to my own conclusions. I thrashed in his arms until I fell out. I saw Spike's surprised face as I backed away from him. Spike's eyes flicked to the bed and then back to me, widening with comprehension.

I couldn't even understand what was happening; I could barely understand where I was. All I could see was that same threat which had haunted me for years. Suddenly, I could see Spike crouched in front of me and I realized I was sitting in the corner. After a few moments, I realized he was talking to me. 'Come on love you can read my bloody mind. I'm never going to do something like that to you. It's not gonna happen pet. I need you to calm down.'

Finally realizing where I was, I looked at him and skimmed his mind. I saw his intentions and felt my muscles relax. It wasn't exactly ideal, but it was far from what I feared. Seeing it in his mind calmed me and I offered my wrist as I knew what he was going to do next.

Gently, he grasped it and pulled me up. He led me over to the bed and sat me on it. I couldn't even make myself resist him. I knew there was no point anyway. This was not the time to be trying to escape; it wasn't my chance. He reached behind me and a few seconds later I felt something cold close over my wrist. Looking down, I saw the cuff. I felt fear seep into my chest at the sight but I forced it down.

He looked down at me for a moment, before a smile crept onto his face. 'I forgot to mention that you tasted delicious. You really are a prize love. That's the sort of thing that will keep you alive.'

I stared at him for a moment and watched him as he walked back over to the ladder and climbed it again. Unable to fight my body any longer, I fell into an exhausted sleep.


	4. Nightmares and Small Comforts

**a/n I know. It's a travesty how long this took me to update. All I can say is that real life got busy. **

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Joss Whedon's characters….. **

**Previously:**

'_You want to drain me.' She continued murmuring, backing up another step, her small frame seeming even smaller against the black wall that she was inches from banging into._

_With his lips not moving from their spot, I knew that I wouldn't live seconds if I refused him. Swallowing, feeling his lips move as I did, I nodded before speaking hoarsely, "what do you want"._

_Dragging her out of the alley into the dark night, I asked gruffly, "What's your name anyway, pet?"_

_After a quick, surprised pause, she replied softly, "Buffy."_

_'I want you to scan the graveyard, love, and tell me how many creepy critters of the night there are.'_

_'13 'creepy critters', 2 humans and,' I paused for a second, 'She felt human, but there was something a little off. Her mind was full of the death of vampires and demons and she was practically oozing power.'_

_'The girl you sense now will kill you for helping me. Never, ever go near her. Got that pet?'_

_Suddenly, I was brought back to what was happening by the sharp sting on my neck. I felt my eyes water but to my surprise it didn't hurt when he started drinking._

_'I forgot to mention that you tasted delicious. You really are a prize love. That's the sort of thing that will keep you alive.'_

SPOV

After climbing back up the ladder away from the girl downstairs, I closed my eyes, savouring the remaining flavour of her blood in my mouth. I'd never tasted anything like it before and already I yearned for another taste. I ran the image through my head again of her long, pale neck exposed. The taste of her skin as I pulled the artery to the surface. I shuddered at the image, opening my eyes and having to forcibly shove it away.

Flopping myself onto the couch, I turned on the tele as I felt dawn approach and let myself fall asleep still thinking about the treasure I'd found tonight.

BPOV

My mind was full of chaotic images. Nothing real. Nothing distinct. Some I recognized from my own past. Images that I spent every waking moment pretending never happened. Some flashes came from the people who were close enough for me to read. Considering where we were, I shouldn't have been surprised that all the pictures that flitted through my head quicker then I could decipher. Images of grief, anger, despair, hate, death.

The swirling in my head jarred me from unconsciousness. Bolting awake, I breathed heavily as I slowly reconstructed the walls around me, blocking out all the noise from the graveyard above. I heard the voices fade and dim until they were gone. Only when I was sure that my barriers were up did I open my eyes.

Looking around the room, it was like I hadn't been here last night. The room looked completely unfamiliar to me. Of course, I hadn't been in any state to notice anything last night. Turning to take in the rest of the room, I felt a slight pull on my neck. Pausing, I slowly lifted my hand to feel the damage.

At first I didn't feel anything but after a few seconds of probing, I felt the two slight indentations from the bite last night. I let my fingers trace the small holes, marvelling at how gentle he must have been to leave almost no mark.

Lifting my other hand to push my ratty hair out of my face, I heard a rustle. Looking down, I saw the cuff that Spike had used to chain me to the bed the night before. Staring at the cuff, I couldn't seem to stop the torrent of memories and emotions. I knew where I was now, knew I was no longer there anymore, but that couldn't seem to hold the terror beating at me at bay at the sight of the cuff.

_Flashback _

_My head smashed against the wall as I was thrown back by the vicious punch that felt like it had fractured my cheek. I couldn't make myself move as my father picked me up by my shirt and slammed me against the wall again. It was one of those nights. He was so drunk that he barely was able to walk, but it seemed that beating on me was more regular to him then walking. _

_Moving in close to me so that his eyes were level with mine, I was vaguely aware of him screaming at me to pay attention to him. Trying my hardest, knowing how much angrier he was getting by the second, I made eye contact with him for a second before my eyes decided they didn't want to focus anymore. _

_He had won at poker tonight. He always did. He made me doll myself up. Put on makeup, do my hair but of course wear jeans and a long shirt so no one saw anything wrong. Then he'd have me sit next to him at the poker table, and tell him when to fold and when to bet. _

_The problem was that he hadn't won much. Nowhere near enough to cover the money he spent of alcohol. It wasn't my fault; people had learnt not to gamble with my father, but he had to blame someone. My wrists were chained above my head. They were tight; they were starting to chafe of the skin on my wrists already. _

_Another punch registered as my world exploded into stars. But I couldn't lose consciousness. If I passed out worse things could happen. In least if I was awake I would know. I would know first and I wouldn't have to hear it on his mind first thing in the morning instead. I had to stay awake…_

SPOV

I was jerked awake by the sudden whimper from downstairs. After a few disorientating seconds, I remembered about the girl, Buffy, that I had stumbled upon last night. Jumping out of the chair that I'd fallen asleep in last night, I quickly made my way back to the ladder and climbed down, jumping the last foot to look around the room to find the problem.

But there were no monsters in the room, and my eyes quickly focused of the small blonde on my bed. Her face was twisted into her shoulder, so that I could only just see her eyes squeezed shut tight and her lips making the small whimpers and moans that had woken me. Looking around again to confirm there was no-one around was in the room with us, I strode over to the girl.

Her heart was beating fast, and I grabbed her arms to try to shake her out of whatever nightmare was causing the sounds that were coming out of her mouth. But as soon as I touched her, she started to squirm in my grip her moan turned into a quiet sob that almost made me let go of her straight away. Taking a deep breath, I ignored her sobs and shook her until her bleary eyes focused on mine.

BPOV

Suddenly I was aware that someone was shaking me. Snapping back to current time, I realized that it was Spike who'd grabbed me by the arm, trying to snap me out of my memory. 'Buffy! Come on luv you're already awake. 'M not planning on hurting you pet. Buffy!' I focused my eyes on his and he breathed out a sigh of relief and stopped shaking me. 'Nice of you to join us kitten.'

I blinked out the tears that were blurring my vision and tried to focus on his face. Looking into his eyes which were looking worryingly into mine confirmed that I was no longer in that house, that I had escaped. I exhaled deeply as I felt relief flood through me and tried to banish the lingering images in my mind.

Without opening my eyes I scanned the vampire in front of me. He was confused, wondering what could have happened in my short life to react this way. I continued to listen to his train of thought as he created theories as to what could have affected me in such a way. Some of them ran close but none of them quite grasped the horrors in my memory.

With my breathing finally evening out, I opened my eyes and glanced up at him. He didn't look so concerned now, though I could hear the undercurrent of it in his thoughts. Thankfully, he didn't seem angry that I woke him up in the middle of the day. He just still looked curious and he almost got a faraway look as he continued to spin tales of my past.

I went to rub my hand against my face when it was stopped short after a few inches. I sighed in discontent and used my other hand, trying to push Spike's incessant theorising out of my brain. It was usually a breeze but I was just so tired. After another moment, I said tersely, 'could you please think of something other than guessing at my past?' His eyes snapped back to the present at that, and quickly released my arms which he had still been grasping tightly. I felt anger roll through him but it stopped short almost immediately as he looked at me. 'That's the second time in 12 bloody hours that you've lost all sense of time and place and looked like fear was just going to consume you. So you can't blame a bloke for being curious as to what the bloody hell caused it!'

I flinched at that as a figment of my dream came back, and felt a fleeting feeling of pity in Spike's mind. My eyes snapped to his though the feeling was gone almost as soon as I felt it. He scowled at me and took a step back, distancing himself from me. As the anger went through him again, I found myself thankful that this time he wasn't hungry. I closed my eyes, wondering if I could go back to sleep now. I'd probably be up all night, so it seemed like a good idea to sleep while I could. Not to mention I was still exhausted from the night before.

SPOV

I watched the girl's eyes close again, seemingly recovered from whatever nightmare had woken her up. I didn't press her on it at the time, but I would eventually learn the story behind all the flinches and terror. I knew it wouldn't be a pretty tale. I wondered if she could go back to sleep now. Probably, after last night. By the time they had gotten back to the crypt and I had fed on her, it was nearly dawn.

I involuntarily smiled at the memory of her blood. It had been damned fine and I couldn't wait for another taste. I hadn't taken much last night, which had been bloody difficult, because I wanted more tonight but didn't want to drain her dry or turn her anaemic. While I fully intended to drink her blood as often as I could, I couldn't forget the reason I had brought her back to the crypt last night. She had a special gift and I didn't want to lose it.

Something had been nagging at me through these thoughts, and looking down at her tired, petite form, it finally clicked as to what that was.

BPOV

'Do you have any human needs?' Spike said unexpectantly. My eyes flew open at his voice, and I frowned, trying to understand what he meant. 'What do you mean? Like food?' He shrugged at that. 'Food, water, the bathroom.. whatever it is that you humans need to stay alive.' I couldn't talk for a moment, trying to decipher his mood, see if he was playing with me. He looked at me with a mixture of expectation and puzzlement, waiting for my answer as the seconds passed.

Swallowing, I tried to speak up, but not knowing what to say. 'I… I um…'. I stopped for a second trying to collect my thoughts and decided I'd just focus on one thing at a time. 'I'd like to use the bathroom'. I looked at Spike again, and this time there was only confusion on his face. Tentatively, I peered into his mind. _It's not like I offered her a bloody chest of gold I just wanted to know if she needed the bathroom. What the bloody hell happened to her that that question stumped her?_

I looked at the floor at that, face burning as horrible images tried to make their way to the surface before I forced them back down. He knelt down so his face was level with me and pulled a key out of his pocket. He picked up my wrist gently, and unlocked the cuff on it. Instinctively I cradled it, inspecting it and seeing that I had obviously pulled on it while I was asleep, most likely during the latest nightmare.

I had a moment to notice the barely there cut with a minimal amount of blood surrounding it, when Spike picked up my wrist again and brought it to his lip. For a terrified second I thought he was going to bite down into it, but instead he started lapping at the tiny portion of blood. He hummed appreciatively as he gave my wrist a final lick, looking up at me with an wicked grin on his face. 'I almost thought I was dreaming the taste of you last night, love.' He bent his head back down to my wrist and I unsuccessfully tried to tug it away. However, he just held it there for a moment, inhaling deeply, before letting go.

I stood up shakily and looked around, trying to get to the bathroom and get some distance between me and Spike. But the darkness of the room kept me immobile staring into shadows trying to find a door. I felt Spike grab my hand to start pulling me in the right direction and I immediately hissed and tried to pull away as my wrist throbbed. Spike gentled his grip and held up my hand between us, looking at the hand shaped bruise that circled my wrist. I immediately tapped into his head, and was surprised to see the faint edge of regret.

Letting go of my wrist, he turned around and said over his shoulder, 'follow me then'. I followed him quickly before he could disappear into the darkness but it was only a few steps before he opened a door and switched on a light to reveal a bathroom. It wasn't exactly pretty, but it looked like it had all the bare essentials. I walked past Spike into the bathroom, and as I heard him close the door, he paused for a moment. He didn't say anything, but in his head he clearly said, '_Sorry pet, didn't have to do that_.' I watched his back as the door closed, surprised but finding myself slightly more relaxed about our deal. Maybe this would be ok.

**a/n hope you guys liked it, review and let me know what you thought. I've started the next chapter so hopefully I can get it out soon :)**


	5. Ease and Unease

**A/n here's the next chapter! Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Joss Whedon's characters….. **

SPOV

I made my way back upstairs and flopped on the couch and turned up the tele. I don't know what it is about this girl that gets under my skin. Sure, she tasted amazing and has a handy gift, but that should be all. But instead the sight of her bruised wrist from my less than gentle treatment was unsettling. I tried to push such concerns aside and watch whatever inane show was playing. Luckily, I only had to ignore my thoughts for a few minutes before I heard the shower turn back off downstairs. I frowned slightly. I had expected the girl to have been in there longer. A few minutes later I heard her hesitantly call out, 'Spike?'

'Up here love,' I yelled back loud enough for her to hear. I listened as I heard her slowly make her way up the ladder. When her head pops up, she looks surprised to see me lounging on the couch. I don't know what she expected me to be doing, sleeping in a coffin maybe. Her face suddenly breaks into a smile and I know she was reading my thoughts. The smile was brief, but it lit up her entire face for that moment.

I sat up and Buffy came over and sat down. Looking at her wet hair, I remembered that getting clean was only step 1 in the basic-necessities plan. 'You hungry pet?' She looked at me in surprise again, and I let out an exasperated sigh. 'Love, I didn't eat you in the alley because I _didn't_ want you to die. Why would I bollocks that up now by not giving you what you need to survive?' Her look of surprise didn't go away, but it did change to something darker and I felt for a moment that I was the mind-reader. She was thinking that people could survive on much less than I was giving her. I felt my jaw clench and I said lowly, 'Yea, well, I'm not that kind of vampire.'

Slowly, Buffy's face relaxed and she broke my gaze, and said quietly, 'yea, I'm hungry.' I nodded and got up quickly from the couch. I went to the small fridge and pulled it open, knowing I had some food in there. Sure enough, there was a serve of spicy chicken wings at the front. I grabbed them, and a bottle of water. Sitting back down next to her, I snagged a wing before handing her the whole plate. She looked at me curiously and I shrugged with a grin. 'I like the taste.' She smiled again briefly before picking up one of the wings herself. She ate it quickly, though it seemed more methodological than enjoyable. I put my hand on hers as she starts her second. 'Slow down love, enjoy them. I'm not going to take your food from you.' She paused for a minute at that, and quickly glanced up at me before going back to eating, slower this time.

I watched her for a moment while I absently ate my wing, before snapping my gaze away from her to focus back on whatever show I had been watching before she had come up. Focusing back on that, I saw her posture relax from the corner of my eye. Clearly she did not like being stared at. We continued on in a comfortable silence for a few more minutes until I looked over at Buffy to see her lying on her arm against the side of the chair, food forgotten in the space between us, with a slight frown marring her face as she watched the show on the tele.

I couldn't help my lips twitching up at that, watching her trying to decipher the admittedly confusing show. When the character's suddenly found themselves in a maze-like zoo, Buffy let out a sigh of exacerbation, turning to look with me with that same frown on her face. 'What in the world is going on? Why are they in a zoo? And why is it so weird? What sort of zoo looks like that!' I smirk at her confusion but then shrug my shoulders. 'Dunno love, wasn't really paying attention between getting you fed and trying to make sure you didn't choke it down.' Buffy laughed softly at this, the first laugh I'd heard from her. Smirking at her again, I turned back to the show, trying to figure out myself what was going on.

After the show finished – and I never figured out what the bloody hell was going on – I glanced back over to the quiet girl to see she had fallen asleep with head on her arm. I blinked in surprise. I did not think she would be relaxed enough to sleep anywhere near me, considering the last 24 hours, and that wasn't even taking into account her obviously traumatic life. Whoever had her before me had certainly not been gentle.

Looking at the plate of wings between us, I knew I'd have to go and get more food. I doubted the remaining 2 wings would sustain her very long. Picking it up, I put it back in the fridge and turned back to my sleeping captive. Walking over to the couch, I carefully picked her up, hoping that I wouldn't wake her. Her breathing caught when I first picked her up but it evened back out as I walked carefully to the ladder and made my way down it with minimal difficulty, easily able to carry the slight girl.

I lay her down gently on the bed and picked up the cuff closest to her limp hand. Picking up her hand, I hesitated for a moment before clicking it on. I didn't think she'd wake up before I got back, but I couldn't take any chances. I straightened up and gazed down at the beautiful girl I'd found by some trick of fate. I shook myself out of it after a few second and strode off to find some supplies.

BPOV

Blearily, I opened my eyes, finding myself in the in-between state of consciousness and unconsciousness. I wasn't sure what had woken me up, and I was more than tempted just to close my eyes again and let myself drift back off. Half-awake, I let my mind drift to before I fell asleep, frowning slightly as I tried to recall what was happening. Gasping, I tried to jump up, remembering falling asleep with Spike next to me.

I only got my head and shoulders a few inches off the bed before my wrist stopped me from moving, and I gasped again as my body flopped back onto the bed. I closed my eyes and took a deep shuddering breath, trying to calm down my body and mind. First, I opened my mind and checked my surroundings. Nada. Looks like Spike left the crypt for whatever reason. Opening my eyes, I tentatively checked my wrist, and saw that it was again chained to the bed, looking rather purple and sluggishly bleeding from where I had cut myself on the steel cuff by my sudden movements.

Slowly this time, I turned my body as I sat up, so that I was sitting on the edge of the bed with my wrist laying limp on the comforter next to me. Sighing, I leaned sideways to rest on the headboard, wondering at the time. It couldn't be too late; the room wasn't too dark yet. Closing my eyes, I reached out with my mind again, beyond just the crypt, trying to find someone to figure out the time. Finally I found a mourner. Even though he was grieving, I found myself transfixed in his feelings for a moment. The love he felt for his wife was something I hadn't felt before. It was so true, and pure and complete. He was content to spend time by her side, as he had been for the hours since he arrived after lunch with his sons.

Absently, I realized that meant it was well into the mid-afternoon. I suppose I couldn't be blamed for how much I slept all things considering, but I was still vaguely shocked at how the majority of my time had been spent over the last day. Especially considering that in that time, my abilities had been found out _again_, by a _vampire_ no less. I shook those unpleasant thoughts, and went back to the mourner, and again lost myself in that unwavering love, imagining for a second that someone felt that way about me.

After the man left the cemetery, Spike still wasn't back yet and I let me curiosity get the better of me as I examined the room I was trapped in in the fading light of the afternoon. It was fairly bare bones, but it seemed to have the essentials. There was a decent sized chest of draws against the wall, with books and candles scattered on top of it. I could see the bathroom just to the right of where I was sitting on the bed. And of course, the bed I was sitting on, with its very soft red sheets. Though I quickly moved my mind from that as unwanted images sprang to mind as to why Spike would need such nice sheets. The thoughts both scared me and didn't at the same time. The last thing I noticed was the simple bedside table. Books and candles were scattered on this surface as well, and out of curiosity, I picked up the closest book.

However, I quickly screwed up my face and put it down. It was in some foreign or ancient language, and whatever it was about it looked foreboding. Definitely not about puppies or rainbows. Picking up the next one, I smiled immediately as I noticed the title was in English. I then promptly rolled my eyes at how easily excited I was. The title 'Crime and Punishment' sounded vaguely familiar, but I had no idea where I might have heard it from. I shrugged though, and opened it up to the first page.

I read a little bit, frowning. It was so dull. I flicked my eyes back up to the title of the chapter and snickered at myself. I was reading the forward. No wonder there didn't seem to be a story happening. I started flipping through the pages trying to find Chapter 1, when there was suddenly a bang and a crash at the other end of this long underground room. I jumped at the sudden shattering of the quiet, nearly losing my page in the book. Just as suddenly, Spike's head appeared in a hole that I hadn't noticed on the ground, quickly followed by the rest of his body as he hoisted himself from the under-under-ground into the room.

He stood up, brushing himself off, and looked over at me. In that moment I realized that I was essentially snooping around his reading material. He might not like that. Panicking, my hands suddenly fumbled with the book and it promptly fell out of my hands and was strewn on the ground. I felt my panic mounting as I looked at the skewwhiff way it was laying on the ground. What if he didn't care that I was _reading _the book but would become incensed about almost wrecking it by throwing it on the ground. I felt my hands shaking as I looked back up at Spike and noticed that he was almost all the way across the room to where I was sitting. On the bed. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stand up and get off the bed or in any other way get away from the vampire moving towards me so I just stared widely down at my shaking hands, too scared to blink because I knew how fast he could move.

Suddenly he was in front of me, and the abruptness of it forced the whimper out of me that I had tried to contain, and I ducked my head against any assault that was to come. I saw him kneel in front of me out of my peripherals, and jumped when his hands gently rested on my own. 'Buffy.' I flinched again as his voice broke the silence. He gripped my hands tighter, but not roughly as I had expected. 'Read my mind, love. Remember that 'm not the wanker who hurt you before. 'M not a nice man, but I'm not him pet.'

I took a deep shuddering breath, and reached out to the mind in front of me. I felt the difference between Spike and the others straight away and immediately felt all the muscles in my body collapse, having only been kept up by certainty that I was about to be in pain. 'Good girl,' Spike said softly, picking up the wrist with the cuff on it and promptly unlocking it. He again drew it to his mouth, and curved his tongue around the reopened cut on my wrist. He sighed in content after he'd licked up every drop, but then frowned as he stroked the area just above the cut and purple bruise. 'I'm going to have to find something else to keep you still.' He smirked at me, 'as much as I'm enjoying your blood love, this must be getting sore.' He kept stroking my wrist as he spoke, and I found myself relaxing until I was at the same level I had been at _before _freaking out about the book.

I peeked up at him, and noticed that Spike had a far-off look on his face. With my mind no longer reeling from panic, I opened up more to see what was causing that look. His mind was oddly open, clearly he'd forgotten about blocking me while he was calming me down. He was enjoying the lingering taste of my blood on his tongue. Weird as that was, I somehow felt like that was a compliment. Also, true to his word, he was discontent with the dark marks colouring my wrist, and was trying to figure out a more comfortable way to hold me down. But then he starting thinking about fur cuffs, and I could actually see his face light up as he thought about it. I chuckled under my breath at the look on his face, though I cut off my access to his mind, not wanting to see where that went.

The far-off look on Spike's face was replaced by a smirk. 'Listening in are we?' I shook my head. 'Not anymore,' I said with a soft smile, 'I was scared at what I was going to hear'. Spike snorted at that but stood up and went to grab my wrist, but stopped himself at the last second, and held out his hand instead. I let him help me up, and then he walked over to where he popped up from before. He kicked something and the thud it caused made me jump, and then he picked something up from the ground.

I looked over curiously and noticed that Spike had kicked some sort of metal manhole cover. 'Sewer access,' he explained with a grin. I made a face, and he grinned wider. 'Yea, figured I didn't need to worry about you scuttling off down there.' Scrunching up my face more, I shook my head from side to side. Spike's smile softened, and he held up the plastic bag that I hadn't noticed him holding before. 'Got a good range of food. Didn't know what you liked.' I looked at him, flabbergasted. I was happy he didn't want to hurt me, but this extra step of making me comfortable seemed too good to be true. He'd made it clear from day one that he wouldn't hesitate to hurt me, just like the rest of them. So why did _he _care?

SPOV

As soon as I told her I had gotten a few different things 'cause I didn't know what she liked, she went oddly quiet, and the look on her face was confused. Confused about what? I actually liked the girl, if she couldn't tell. I'd still bite her, and I couldn't let her run off, but I didn't want to torment her. Wasn't my gig anyway, even if I didn't like her. I don't know what the bloke before me got off on, but I just wanted her to help me out to help me get the edge over other demons, or over the slayer. And she tasted good. I didn't need her to suffer.

Determinably, I walked over to her and watched her confusion take on a hint of fear. I stopped right in front of her, and put the bag of food down on the bed. 'Open your mind pet, and I'll tell you when you should be scared of me and when you shouldn't.' She looked up at me, still looking confused but also eager, and when I felt I had her full attention, I spoke. 'I like you pet'. Surprise surged over her face, but I put my hands on her shoulders to make sure I had her attention. 'I don't want to hurt you, not for no reason. 'ts not my thing, even if you were a pain in the ass. Now don' get me wrong. You run off or do somethin' else against our deal I'll stop you. And you taste amazing pet so I'd still bite you. But I don't get off on tormenting you orrite? I want your help, and sometimes your blood, but I don' need you're terror.'

She was silent through my little speech, and didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then, suddenly she smiled and started laughing. I just watched her, a bit confused by her reaction but glad she wasn't scared. She reached a trembling hand out, and I took it and pulled her into my chest. I felt her laughing change to crying, and I tried to pull back, but she had her hands twisted in my shirt, and she wasn't letting go. So I just patted her back as she cried her fear out.

BPOV

I felt calmer now than I could ever remember feeling. No-one had promised me that much safety before. I felt like I could breathe. Spike had his reasons for keeping me around, but he would keep me around and _safe_ and _content._ I'd never gotten that alone, and I certainly never got it before. I pulled back from where I had burrowed myself in Spike's chest, blushing as I realized I had been all pressed up against him for at least 10 minutes. Then my stomach rumbled, and I blushed harder and looked at the floor.

Spike reached past me and picked up the bag he had put on the bed, rattling it slightly. 'Ready for food?'

I nodded and he led me up the ladder to the upstairs area with the couch. He sat down on it and put the bag in front of him. Curious, I sat across from him and waited for him to reveal his snacks. He tipped it upside-down, and a whole variety of things fell out. There was a range of different chip packets, and few pre-packaged sandwiches, some chocolate bars, and some of the microwavable noodle packets. Picking up the noodle packet, I looked around with a frown on my face until I confirmed that Spike did indeed have a microwave. I was too hungry to that tonight though, and I just picked up one of the sandwich packets. I hesitated when I picked it up, and peeked through my lashes and with my mind at Spike. He was watching me patiently, and when he noticed me looking at him, he thought to me, 'I said you could take anything love, and I meant it.'

I smiled, and carefully unwrapped the sandwich before taking a bite out of it. I still felt abnormally comfortable and happy, but I pushed the oddness aside and chose to focus on the happy. Who knew how long it would last – I didn't want to miss a second.

Spike picked up one of the microwavable noodle things and stuck it in the microwave while I enjoyed my sandwich. When he was done, he stopped at his little mini fridge and got some sort of soft drink out and handed it to me, along with a bottle of water. 'Gotta stay hydrated love, were heading out tonight.' I looked at his questioningly as I smiled in thanks for the drinks. He grinned widely at me, 'I have a feeling that tonight is a good night to play some poker'.

**Uh-oh how's Buffy going to feel about that? I know this chapter has been a long time coming, I hope you enjoyed it :) R & R and let me know!**


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